PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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