theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
