so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i think im in europe. pls send help
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
