Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
