He had one of those small greek statue penises
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
