You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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