did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
