You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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