I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
