I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
