My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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