i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
