I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
