So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
