I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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