Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
