is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
