The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
