He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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