I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
