this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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