I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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