Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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