when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
