Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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