pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
