Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
