Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
