there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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