she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
