There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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