Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
