Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
