im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
