three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
