I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
