Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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