sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
