Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
