did you get engaged???
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
