Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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