She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
