don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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