i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
