My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
