dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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