Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
