Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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