i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
