It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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