He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
