you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
