hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Mom said you looked used
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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